"Big Momma 3"
"For Stuffed Colored Girls" (btw, is wayne brady looking kinda good? am i going crazy? NEVER thought i'd say that)




And finally, a cinema related statement on race; a post that my blogging soulmate Tafari did for The Afrospear, which he relayed got him a lot of heated haterade comments:"Yesterday, I made it a point to go see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” in IMAX. Ever since the last Transformers theatrical release I had been giddy for more.
Hours before I headed to the movies, I started reading posts online that discussed racism in the movie but still I pressed on to Showcase Cinemas and dropped $10.50 for my ticket.
Fast forwarding 2.5 hours later. I’m walking out of the theater with my mind blown for many reasons; 1st, the movie was so action packed I thought I was going to slip into a seizure. 2nd the movie was overtly sexual, which made it seem like an R rated movie instead of PG-13 and 3rd the racism that was built into the movie was billed as comedic relief.
As I drove home, I tried to reconcile the racism but I could not, so I decided to sleep on it.
So this morning, when I woke up, I actually got mad about what I saw in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” The racism that I’m talking about in case you don’t already know is dealing with the Autobot twins “Skids” and “Mudflap” or the “ Little Black Sambo[ts].
(Wait, for extra measure, if you want to see another relevant countdown list, you have to read this. “7 reasons why Transformers 2 might be racist…”)
With all this now parsed out, I’m wondering why and how this stereotypical bullshit slipped past Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. Did they care? Did they know? Did they think it was ok?
I feel bad and torn because I actually liked the movie a lot, but how could I in good conscious? Maybe it’s the kid in me remembering watching the cartoon way back in the mid 80s.
Although the racism pisses me off about this flick, I was also disturbed about the adult content and overt hypersexuality. But like I said, I liked the movie, so what does this mean about me?
I know I won’t see the movie again, nor will I purchase the DVD. I do not want my kids seeing this mess and not only that it’s so not a kids movie. Don’t let the PG-13 rating fool you!
Transformers used to be all about the kids way back when, but not so much now thanks to Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. I’m just saying.
Side note: This post is not nearly what I wanted it to be. Not at all! My thoughts are with and on Michael Jackson. As I wrap this up, I’m chair dancing to “Off The Wall” while I try to control my urge to cry about a man that reached my soul through song, dance and beauty."
I think I ruffled a few feathers not too long ago when I stated that "age was the enemy" on the post I did on Jimmy "J.J" Walker and Boy George, alluding to their rapid deterioration and alarming visages. Some said "It's not age, it's lifestyle!" True, that is a factor, but you can be the exercisinest veganist vegan, and it all hits the end of the road somewhere. I started thinking of this subject for several reasons...the first one being this:
That these two that practically anyone, at any time, at any place, would have smashed in the 90's end up looking like Michael Jackson's unholy apprentices. I just don't get it. NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: Make a beeline to whomever works on Halle Barry and Jennifer Lopez and call it a day! Those two should be the only working plastic surgeons in the world. Period.
Yes, age is devastating, as was witnessed on the "American Idol" disco medley the other day. Much has been made of how "ancient" the guests were, but if any of the readers of this blog look like Freda Payne (67 in Sept), or Thelma Houston (63 in a yellow dress showing a massive amount of leg) at their ages, please let me know. As for KC of KC and the Sunshine Band....well, let's just say he is dealing with a numerous amount of the white man's burdens.
Another example of the perils of aging is the disappointing film I watched the other day, "Original Gangstas". I was very happy to live with the memory of the fine-ass (and I do mean ass) Fred Williamson, aka 'The Hammer' from the 70's, and this film was an unwelcome jolt of reality. It is a vengeance movie that brings together Williamson, Jim Brown (wearing this life's most unfortunate kufi to cover an even more unfortunate bald spot), Ron O'Neal (Superfly, looking like the cashier/weed dealer at your nearest bodega), Richard Roundtree (Shaft), and Pam Grier (Foxy Brown, with hair looking like it hasn't seen the working end of a flat iron for several decades). You would think bringing together the most iconic icons of 70's Blaxploitation would be the sh*t, but sadly, I was left wishing everyone would have just rested on their laurels, and all I wanted to do was hand out Restalyne and Ab Rollers to everyone involved :-(
But there are other things that can cause it to all fall down, most prolific being stupidity. Rapper/actor Xzibit is about to lose his house to foreclosure, after 100 years of "Pimp My Ride" and it's reruns. Terrence Howard is still whining about losing his part in "Ironman". Ummm....T? Everyone involved with this film has been a professional for years. You mumble, sleepwalk, and use your "quivering voice" at dramatic pauses, then proceed to jack your price up sky high? That is exactly why you are in some fucked up movie called "Fighting" with the other weirdest Black man in Hollywood, Roger Guenveur Smith, who is probably your doppelganger, and playing second fiddle to Channing Tatum, whoever that is. Maybe you can pick up where Wesley Snipes left off.
A loooong way from wearing Ironman's suit of armor, yes?
Stupidity coupled with being low budget is definitely the way to make it fall down. Idris Elba now refuses to do press junkets and attend the premieres of his masterpiece "Obsessed". Negro, you were on "The Wire". Did you even read the script for this POS? I'm assuming not, as it surely would have ended up in "the circular file" as my grandfather used to say--aka the wastebasket. Don't act all brand new now. What did you possibly hope to accomplish starring opposite Beyonce and Ali Larter, in a film that was produced by the dude that did "3 Can Play That Game?" Falling down, dude. Hard.
But nobody has fallen as hard in my recent memory as this next one. I watched a bootleg (yes, I'm going to Heck) of "Single Black Female", which is without exception the very worst film ever made, ever. It looked like it was filmed on a 1999 Nokia phone, yet I was could not stop watching it. I was completely transfixed by it's unbelievable horribleness--I think I was hypnotized. Beyonce can make a thousand "Obsesseds" and it wouldn't even come close to the stench of this flick. It "stars" Farrah Something Or Other, who used to be in Destiny's Child, and obviously that will forever be the zenith in her life till the grave. Yes, age is no joke, but combine being stupid, low budget, AND talentless and there is nowhere to go but down. Behold:
I know my posting has been spotty. The truth is, I've finished a transition back to the Bay Area to be closer to my parents, and I miss L.A. terribly...I will probably have to have residences in both places to keep everyone happy, the main person being me.
Speaking of chitlins, for some crazy Black History f*ckery, check out Thembi's post on white (and Black) America's tributes to our so-called history and tastes. True WTF?!? shenanigans if you ever saw it!
I kept silent about Slickback's stupid statement about the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle (my advice still stands to only speak through a publicist, Terrence), and it is even more stupid as he was arrested for the exact same thing a few years back.
Just setting my grouch/disgust factor off the charts is Marlon Jackson's complete lunacy about building a slavery theme park, complete with golf courses, spas, etc., coupled with a Jackson family museum. How much do we really know about Marlon? I mean he has never really said much before....how do we know he might not have some mild form of autism or something like that? All signs point to it with an idea so stupid I can dedicate 3 posts to it.


Clearly this woman has never been introduced to, or been within a 50 mile radius of a stylist, ever.


By the way, here is a so called "trailer" that is about 8 seconds long. Why the high tension, overly dramatic music, coupled with a special effects slo-mo for a simple pimp slap? Jeesh.
Pimpula Trailer
hat-tip you know you dead azz wrong--one of my favorite guilty pleasures by far
Big cars.......big hats.....big guns.....big boobs.....Ed McMahon.
Oh. My. God.
If this isn't the most classic, classic, classic Blaxploitation, I don't know what is!
btw, I agree with Sergio, Will Smith would never have the balls to do this...then again, who would?

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