Hope, Naivete, or Desperation?

While watching the debate last night, I tried not to get distracted by trivial things the way I usually do with these things, such as what was going on with the candidates lips (seriously, did Obama not have a razor within a mile radius before this important debate? Why were McCain's looking all coral lipstick-y?).

But I digress.

I was in a particularly political/militant mode yesterday, as before the debate I rewatched "Black August", the story of imprisoned Black Panther leader George Jackson. For those of you who don't know, in the 70's George Jackson was the boyfriend of Black Panther activist Angela Davis, and was sent to prison for 1 year to life for robbing a gas station of $70. While in prison he formed an offshooot Black Panther unit (The Black Guerillas); 3 of his comrades were killed by a guard in cold blood, and the guard got off scott-free. When the guard was murdered, George was one of the suspected. This, coupled with his Panther beliefs, subjected him to a heinous life of torture within the prison walls, until he couldn't take it anymore and organized a mutiny--in which he was shot and killed. His sixteen year old brother was shot and killed beforehand by taking a judge hostage to get George freed.

I have made the synopsis of his story very simplistic for the purpose of this post, as he was a complex man and the effects of his life are still being felt today, as it was with me yesterday. Gary Dourdan as George Jackson did an amazing job of showing that throughout American history, if you were/are an intelligent Black man that stands up for your rights, there was/is hell to pay.

It saddens me that the younger people of today (not all of them mind you) seem to have zero idea of the struggles we had even in the 70's (and George was in his 20's), much less what was going on during slavery. The simulated sex at parties, quests for Gucci, Prada, and other assorted junk--rims, weaves and the latest sneakers and cell phones are of the highest order of the day. It is so directionless, tragic, and amazing in it's cocooned ignorance. I try to laugh to keep from crying sometimes, but the shit is SO not funny. For example, a post I read on The Field Negro:

Scranton Pennsylvania ain't exactly field Negro country, if you get my drift. So I wasn't exactly surprised to hear that the good folks in Scranton were calling for the head of the skinny Negro with the funny name. "Kill Him" , one enthusiastic supporter shouted, while Congressional candidate, Chris Hackett, fired up the crowd. Oh, did I mention that this was once again a Sarah Palin rally? Well I didn't. But if you have been following these elections like I have, you would know that I didn't have to. Because I am sure you knew exactly who the guest of honor was.

Honestly, who are these people? Do they just follow Sarah around like "dead heads" or some shit? The Sarah Palin Hate Tour coming to a small back water town near you. And why didn't anyone in the crowd call out this guy? Why didn't Chris Hackett, who should know better, and who is running for Congress for crying out loud, rebuke the guy? Seriously folks; this stuff is not funny. These people aren't too smart, and if you keep telling them enough, they will really try to hurt that uppity Negro. Take that nigger, how is that for change? Since you are supposed to be the second coming, let me see you rise from the dead. Your dead ass is the only change that we all can believe in. We have god on our side , so we will go to heaven after we kill your ass.

Yes, so definitely not funny. And yet when Obama spoke up about why at these rallies people were screaming "kill him", (which I was surprised he actually brought up--he's usually above it) McCain is like "boy, how dare you insult my people? I will not sit hear and listen to these insults" WTF? Not once addressing that it was actually said. If they were saying that about McCain at an Obama rally, they would have brought that shit back to the 50's, straight up, with dogs, and hoses, and teargas, and billyclubs, and pepper spray, and if it got too hot, bullets.

And so it goes. I am hoping with all of my heart that this election is the last true bastion of unashamed racism. Am I just being naive in that hope, cause as George Jackson said (paraphrasing) "every time we we give them the benefit of the doubt, the Fascists always stay true to who they are" ? Which is to say, it may just be inherent in some circles to stay the same, no matter what is going on in the rest of the world--there will always, always be someone to carry on the torch. I hope (again) that's not true.

I'm also hoping (again) that if Obama wins this election, it will be an awakening to those who don't know anything about George Jackson, and couldn't care less. Maybe they can see the beauty, the real beauty of being Black, which is also the beauty of being just a human, something that a lot of the times we aren't allowed to do.

As one who has received great amounts of hostility for NOT being ashamed of my blackness in any way, where I've lived, where I've worked, where I've gone to school, and sometimes being covertly (or overtly) punished for it, I see this as the first step in the direction of well deserved respect in an Obama win. Yes, I have respect for myself, and yes, I respect others, and I want everyone to treat me with that same respect. People would be more hard pressed to lynch/taser someone to death someone if our president is Black. I would like to think.

My fate has been sealed for a long time. My great, great grandfather was born a slave, and I am not an old person. When I had a baby, I had my six week old son in a front carrier on my breast. A BART policeman accosted me when I got out of the car, and when I had the audacity to ask him what he wanted and what I had supposedly done, he twisted my arm behind my back and slammed me on the hood of the car, with my 6 week old baby under me. When I went bananas, I was arrested and taken to jail; they took my breastfed son away through child protective services, and it took me days to get him back. The cop had to cover up and lied and said I assaulted him--I had to got to court 4 times because I would not say I was guilty, though they tried to scare me into saying it. They dropped that charge, but till this day, I have no idea why that BART cop rolled up on me, and to my knowledge he was never punished.

I knew the pain of what my ancestors felt when their children were stolen away from them. Until you feel that pain of complete and total injustice, you can actually listen to a bullshit artist like McCain, and a potentially dangerous airhead like Palin. Me? They make my ears bleed. My experiences are why I'm a Malcolm X and not a MLK, and why I am a George Jackson and not a Barack Obama. There are those of us that know our fate--that if it all goes down, you will be on the front line, full force, no questions asked. There's nothing in you that will allow for anything else.

I am hoping (again) that it never comes down to that, because Obama is our MLK--yes, it's cliched, but he is our hope, what George Jackson was longing to see in his lifetime. If he was able to have that hope, he might not have died, just as our brothers are dying in the streets by their brother's hand. Maybe his winning will heal some of our hurts, give us more pride, make us remember the struggles and sacrifices that were made by our people in the last century to get to this point, and make no one ashamed of their Blackness anymore.

I hope.